Trying to be happy: One way to bolster resilience

  • Published
  • By Col. Rachel A. Hight
  • 60th Surgical Operations Squadron

TRAVIS AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. – For many of us, a huge crisis or emergency can be handled expertly, but the “death by a thousand paper cuts” every day is what really takes a toll.

I started thinking about this when someone made a remark in their exit interview about how I am usually smiling.  I’m just like everyone else in that there are a thousand things every day that make me not feel like smiling, but he was right. I tend to be the crazy one who has a good time no matter how miserable the situation. So, it got me thinking about what things I am doing to keep the positive energy up. I don’t have all the answers or even the best answers, but I thought I would share some things that work for me. 

First, trying to be happy is something I actively do, though it is habit enough now that I don’t think about it a lot. I just like being happy. I see the negative, measure it up, and then look for some way to get out of the negative. I find it hard to muster the energy required to deal with everything that hits my radar when I stay stuck in the negative mode. As I thought about that comment from the exit interview, I realized that I am constantly directing my thoughts in positive directions. It might be cheesy, but I realized that my tricks could be summarized easily to spell happy. They help me tip that balance back toward the positive side when life is piling on the negative.

H: Humility. I am not as humble as I would like to be, but I have discovered that one way I can be in a more grateful mindset is to be thankful for everything I have. No matter how bad things are, it could always be worse. Humility is that trait which, for me, allows me to remember to count my blessings. When I am faced with that looming feeling of despair for how impossible or negative a situation is, sometimes I pause right at that moment and play the mind game with myself to see if I can spot ways that things could be worse. Of course I can. We all can. We are experts at seeing the negative. The follow-up here is that once I start listing out the ways it could be worse, I start a little thank you list for things not being as bad as they could be. I do that list mentally versus on paper, depending on how big the negative is.

A: Action. We all know that taking action is powerful. The energy generated when we do something is potent; it’s no wonder so many of us can relate to the Nike slogan “Just do it.” So, when I feel like negativity is piling up on me, especially in the form of something unpleasant that has a deadline, I try just to get started. Like that Chinese proverb about how a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step. I focus on beginning with a small, do-able action. I take the single step if that is all I can do. So many times, I take that first step and discover the subsequent steps, while not easy, aren’t quite as hard as I thought they would have been.

P:  People. I focus on the goodness of people. We serve in an all-volunteer force, and we achieve amazing things together in service of our awesome nation. I think about the goodness of our Airmen today working hard 24/7, at home and abroad. I think about the goodness of the Airmen that paved the way for us years ago, against incredible odds. I try to appreciate people. 

P: Progress. I tend to focus on progress. Performance is obviously important, but we have all felt that keen disappointment or frustration when performance doesn’t quite hit the mark. That is just life. Even though it is vitally important to be working on eradicating performance gaps between a suboptimal current state and the ideal or target state, I have found that not sincerely acknowledging effort and progress can suck the life out of people. I find it easier to be positive and encouraging when I can focus on the progress made, rather than seeing only the gap that needs to be overcome.

Y: Yes. I try to say “yes” to opportunities. I find that dealing with today’s challenges requires that I am always on my toes and that I have lots of tricks up my sleeves to cope with things. I need lots of help to be ready for everything that comes my way. For me, the opportunities that come along tend to expose me to new people or new situations that provide me with new perspectives, ideas or tools that I can use to help me and my team solve problems. Somehow, I always come away from these different experiences enriched somehow. 

So- there it is. One way to try to be happy and become more resilient. It might not work for everyone, but these little tools help me bounce back from the hourly frustrations that threaten to drag me down. I genuinely hope that these simple ideas might offer someone help in coping with their challenges. I’d love to hear any ideas you have on how to bounce back from the daily grind.  Email me your thoughts at rachel.a.hight.mil@mail.mil.