Why victims of sexual assault or domestic abuse do not report

  • Published
  • By Anita Perry
  • 60th Air Mobility Wing Sexual Assault Response Coordinator

TRAVIS AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. -- With all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and the expectations of perfect holiday get-togethers, the feeling that everyone seems happy and healthy may not always be true. All of these things and so many other aspects of the holidays, can lead to stress and ill health for survivors of sexual assault.

For many survivors, the holidays can be a time of struggle, a time of feeling alone with their grief, either as painful memories flood back or as current abuse takes place without others’ knowledge.

While there is no magic wand that can be waved to make the holidays easy for survivors, certain actions can help make the holidays just a little less stressful.

Don’t compare your circumstances to others around you. Yes, your co-worker may seem tremendously happy and may appear to have a storybook life. But comparing his or her circumstances to yours isn’t helpful.

Perhaps your circumstances are less than perfect this year. It doesn’t mean they won’t be better next year. It may take work and self-reflection, but try to control your negative thoughts by remembering happy times in your life or things for which you’re grateful for today rather than thinking about the abuse.

You can minimize stress by maintaining a manageable schedule. That may mean lowering expectations about typical season stressors such as buying ideal gifts, attending holiday parties or making homemade delicacies. Lowering expectations can have the profound impact of lowering a survivor’s stress level, which can improve an individual’s health around the holidays.

It is helpful for survivors to practice self-care over the holidays. Take time to sit and savor a cup of warm tea or coffee, plan a lunch with close friends, enjoy a peaceful walk in the woods or plan quiet time for activities that lower your stress level. Taking time to nurture yourself may bolster your strength and carry you through the holiday season.

Travis Air Force Base, California, Sexual Assault, Prevention and Response Office has knowledgeable staff and volunteers who provide information or a listening ear. They can help and provide support anytime.

Call the Travis Sexual Assault Hotline at 707-424-7272 for 24/7 support or for information.