Retiree's speech puts resilience in context Published April 25, 2013 By Col. John Cairney 621st Contingency Response Wing vice commander TRAVIS AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. -- In the past few years, there has been a lot of talk about resiliency and developing a wingman culture. Often, they tend to become just words, overused or even used out of context. But occasionally, you come across something that leaves you saying, "That's it." A recent experience surrounding a retirement was one such instance for me. This experience struck me personally and left me saying to myself with the realization that this is what we're trying to accomplish when we use the word resiliency and wingman. One of our wing staff NCO was retiring and leaving town. His family already left. He said he didn't want a ceremony and tried to leave town without one. Upon hearing this, another NCO on the wing staff refused to let this happen. He arranged a ceremony at a local diner on the morning of his departure and also worked a Skype connection so his family could be virtually present. For the departing NCO, the well-attended breakfast ceremony along with the virtual presence of his family was a bit of a surprise. The normal retirement ceremony agenda was followed, albeit in a less formal fashion. When it was time for the retiring NCO's comments, he started by saying, "I don't think I have anything inspiring to say," then related the following: He explained shortly after joining the Air Force, he decided to become the go-to guy. He wanted to be the guy who was always there to help and if he couldn't do it personally, he would find the person who could. This probably explained the ceremony attendance, given this was in fact his reputation. He continued saying that a few years ago, his wife had unfortunately suffered a stroke. On the evening of the tragic event, he admitted he found himself in front of his house with no idea what to do next. As he described the situation, it was the first time he didn't know how to fix a problem and he didn't know where to find someone who could. His on-base neighbor, seeing him outside and knowing what had happened, came outside and didn't ask if he could help - he just did. During the next days and weeks, the neighbor assisted the guy, whose self-proclaimed mission was to be the one always ready to help, back on his feet. He finished his comments by thanking us for letting him fulfill his mission of helping others and for being there when he and his family were unexpectedly in need, walking with them through a successful recovery. I admit, I wasn't prepared for that story and I wasn't prepared to be inspired. Between the response to his departure, to the NCO who refused to let him leave without a ceremony, to the retiring NCO's goal of simply helping others and to the response of a neighbor coming along side without being asked, it all left me inspired. Labels and words are important. Talking about resiliency and being a wingman are essential. I also believe, in order to better appreciate and understand our resiliency and wingmen, we have to continue putting it in a proper context. So, I want to say thank you to my neighbors for keeping it real for me.