Active listening lifts conversation's quality

  • Published
  • By Lt. Col. Peter Abercrombie II
  • 60th Aerial Port Squadron
TRAVIS AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. --  Admit it.  You've zoned out while sitting in that 45 minute class lecture, daydreaming about the weekend or lost track of what was going on in staff meeting, doodling in your notebook about random thoughts.
 
Who hasn't been accused by their significant other of having "selective" hearing, when you forget something that was explained to you previously? We've all been there. The one common theme amongst all these examples is that there was a failure to listen.
 
The Air Force does a great job of teaching us how to speak.  One requirement for a Community College of the Air Force is a speech class, our Professional Military Education classes teach us how to brief and for those who want to brush up on their public speaking abilities, Toastmasters is there to help hone that skill. All these classes will make you a great communicator ready to lead like the best of them.

However, all these communication skills may be for nothing. Speaking is only one half of the communication equation. If a great orator speaks and no one is listening, does it really matter? The passing of information requires there to be a sender and a receiver and the listening part of the equation is rarely emphasized. 

Passive listening is when a person is in receive mode and is not engaged in a conversation.  Take the earlier examples above.  Sitting in a lecture or a staff meeting, the listener may be idly sitting while the information is presented.   If the mind is not engaged with the topic, then it will find something to keep it occupied, hence the daydreaming.

Passive listening is not the only problem when it comes to understanding communications. Distractions are the other biggest factor and they are everywhere. The world is full of things to distract an individual. Distractions include the television, computers, music, cars, background noise and the list goes on and on.  If someone comes up to you and starts talking while you are watching TV or on the computer, chances are you are not paying attention.

The ability to multitask does not bode well in the communication department.  Oftentimes, not providing the speaker your undivided attention will lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding.  I would fathom that many of the "selective" hearing incidents fall into this category.

So what can be done about this passive and distracted listening?  Become an active listener.  An active listener is one who is engaged with the conversations and is ready to listen.  It may sound daunting, but it is rather simple if you follow these simple rules:
1. Turn off the distractions and provide your undivided attention to the speaker.
2. Face the speaker and make eye contact.
3. Be attentive.
4. Keep an open mind.
5. If in a small setting, summarize back what you have heard.

I now find that if I am not paying attention, I immediately start running through these rules to ensure that I direct my undivided attention to the speaker in the room.  Hopefully, you will find yourself more self-aware to your listening habits and can apply these rules, too.